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  Praise for

  I’M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS

  An NPR Best Book of the Year for 2016

  Named Year’s Best in Literary Fiction by the Notable Books Council

  Soon to be a major motion picture directed by Charlie Kaufman, the Academy Award–winning writer and executive producer of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

  “This is the boldest and most original literary thriller to appear in some time.”

  —THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE

  “Iain Reid has written a creepy but enthralling new novel. . . . It’s a psychological thriller that keeps readers guessing.”

  —NPR’s WEEKEND EDITION

  “This slim first volume packs a big psychological punch with a twisty story line, and an ending that will leave readers breathless.”

  —LIBRARY JOURNAL (starred review)

  “[Iain Reid] fuses suspense with philosophy, psychology, and horror in his unsettling first novel. . . . Capped with an ending that will shock and chill, this twisty tale invites multiple readings.”

  —PUBLISHERS WEEKLY (starred review)

  “Reid’s tightly crafted tale toys with the nature of identity and comes by its terror honestly, building a wall of intricately layered psychological torment so impenetrable it’s impossible to escape.”

  —KIRKUS REVIEWS (starred review)

  “Absolutely chilling. I can recall very few times in recent memory I’ve been so physically unnerved by a novel.”

  —BUSTLE

  “Reid’s gradually building spookiness and plainspoken intellectualism make I’m Thinking of Ending Things a smart and unexpectedly fun book.”

  —NEW YORK JOURNAL OF BOOKS

  “Your dread and unease will mount with every passing page.”

  —ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

  “[U]nrelentingly tense, expertly riding the line between paranoid and horrifying.”

  —JEZEBEL

  “This is a deliciously frightening novel. Reid has a light, idiosyncratic touch but never lets his vise-like grip of suspense slacken for a second. Once finished, you will be hard pressed not to start the whole terrifying journey all over again.”

  —THE INDEPENDENT

  “A brilliant, well-constructed Hitchcockian tale with a huge creep factor . . . a straight-on crazy win.”

  —THE HUFFINGTON POST

  “A deviously smart, suspenseful, intense, and truly haunting book with a fuse long and masterfully laid. . . . [Reid has] found a way to make us feel old fears fresh again.”

  —THE LOS ANGELES REVIEW OF BOOKS

  “I’m Thinking of Ending Things begins with the unnamed narrator setting off with her boyfriend to visit his parents at their remote farm, and soon devolves into an unnerving exploration of identity, regret, and longing. Definitely frightening.”

  —THE GLOBE AND MAIL

  “Will inspire readers to reread the novel immediately, to try to figure out just how it was done.”

  —TORONTO STAR

  “Reid has written a superbly crafted psychological thriller, with forays into the metaphysical, which promises to keep you up at night on both counts.”

  —MACLEAN’S

  “A genre-twisting novel, and one that is delightfully confusing. It’s smart and it will keep readers guessing until the very end.”

  —VANCOUVER SUN

  “I’m Thinking of Ending Things is an ingeniously twisted nightmare road trip through the fragile psyches of two young lovers. My kind of fun!”

  —CHARLIE KAUFMAN, Academy Award–winning writer and executive producer of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

  “I’m Thinking of Ending Things is one of the best debut novels I’ve ever read. Iain Reid has crafted a tight, ferocious little book, with a persistent tenor of surprise that tightens and mounts toward its visionary, harrowing final pages.”

  —SCOTT HEIM, author of Mysterious Skin and We Disappear

  “Here are some near-certainties about I’m Thinking of Ending Things. Number one: you’re going to read it fast. Over the course of an afternoon or an evening. The momentum is unstoppable—once you start, you won’t be able to stop. And two: once you race to the end and understand the significance of those final pages, you won’t be able to stop thinking about it. This novel will find a spot in your heart and head and it will live there—for days, weeks, months, or (in my case) the rest of your life. Yes. It really is that good.”

  —NICK CUTTER, author of The Troop and The Deep

  “In a novel this engaging, bizarre, and twisted, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that its ending is even stranger than the narrative route that takes us there . . . but it does. Reid’s novel is a road trip to the heart of creepiness.”

  —SJÓN, author of The Blue Fox, From the Mouth of the Whale, and The Whispering Muse

  “I’m Thinking of Ending Things is an utterly compelling modern Gothic that stakes its claim in the inner precincts of horror. Reid builds tension the way Edgar Allan Poe builds brick walls in his basement.”

  —WAYNE GRADY, author of Emancipation Day

  “An addictive metaphysical investigation into the nature of identity, one which seduces and horrifies in equal measure. Reid masterfully explores the perversity of loneliness and somehow also creates a very entertaining thriller. I found myself yelling at the characters to put their feet on the pedal and drive.”

  —HEATHER O’NEILL, author of Lullabies for Little Criminals and Daydreams of Angels

  “Smart, dangerous and spooky as hell. Iain Reid takes you on a harrowing road trip that keeps you riveted until the final destination.”

  —BRIAN FRANCIS, author of Fruit and Natural Order

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  To Ewan

  One has to be careful what one takes when one goes away forever.

  —Leonora Carrington, The Hearing Trumpet

  ACT ONE

  ARRIVAL

  Two headlights. I wake to the sight of them. Odd because of the distinct green tint. Not the usual white headlights you see around here. I spot them through the window, at the end of the lane. I must have been in a kind of quasi slumber; an after-dinner daze brought on by a full stomach and the evening heat. I blink several times, attempting to focus.

  There’s no warning, no explanation. I can’t hear the car from here. I just open my eyes and see the green lights. It’s like they appeared out of nowhere, shaking me from my daze. They are brighter than most headlights, glaring from between the two dead trees at the end of the lane. I don’t know the precise time, but it’s dark. It’s late. Too late for a visitor. Not that we get many of them.

  We don’t get visitors. Never have. Not out here.

  I stand, stretch my arms above my head. My lower back is stiff. I pick up the open bottle of beer that’s beside me, walk from my chair straight ahead several steps to the window. My shirt is unbuttoned, as it often is at this time of night. Nothing ever feels simple in this heat. Everything requires an effort. I’m waiting to see if, as I think, the car will stop, reverse back onto the road, continue on, and leave us alone, as it should.

  But it doesn’t. The car stays where it is; the green lights are pointing my way. And then, after a long hesitation or reluctance or uncertainty, the car starts moving again, toward the house.

  You expecting anyone? I yell to Hen.

  “No,”
she calls down from upstairs.

  Of course she’s not. I don’t know why I asked. We’ve never had anyone show up at this time of night. Not ever. I take a swig of beer. It’s warm. I watch as the car drives all the way up to the house and pulls in beside my truck.

  Well, you better come down here, I call again. Someone’s here.

  I hear Hen walk down the stairs and into the room. I turn around. She must have just gotten out of the shower. She’s in cutoff shorts and a black tank top. Her hair is damp. She looks beautiful. Truly. I don’t think she could look more like herself or any better than she does right now, like this.

  Hello, I say.

  “Hey.”

  Neither of us says anything else for a moment, until she breaks the silence. “I didn’t know you were here. Inside, I mean. I thought you were still out in the barn.”

  She brings her hand up to her hair, playing with it in a specific way, curling it slowly around her index finger and then straightening the hair out. It’s compulsive. She does this when she’s concentrating. Or when she’s agitated.

  Someone’s here, I say again.

  She stands there, staring at me. I don’t think she’s blinked. Her posture is stiff, reserved.

  What? I ask. What is it? Are you okay?

  “Yes,” she replies. “It’s nothing. I’m surprised someone’s here.”

  She takes a few hesitant steps toward me. She maintains more than an arm’s-length distance but is close enough now that I smell her hand cream. Coconut and something else. Mint, I think. It’s a unique smell, and one I register as Hen.

  “Do you know anyone with a black car like that?”

  No, I say. Looks official, like government, doesn’t it?

  “Could be,” she says.

  The windows are tinted. I can’t see inside.

  “He must want something. Whoever it is. They’re here, they came all the way up to the house.”

  A car door finally opens, but no one steps out. At least not right away. We wait. It feels like five minutes—standing, watching, waiting to see who will step out of the car. But maybe it’s more like twenty seconds.

  Then, I see a leg. Someone steps out. It’s a man. He has long blond hair. He’s wearing a dark suit. Collared shirt, open at the top, no tie. He has a black briefcase with him. He shuts the car door, adjusts his jacket, and walks up to the front porch. I hear him on the old wooden planks. He doesn’t need to knock on the door because we’re watching, and he can see us through the window. And we know he’s here, but we wait and watch anyhow, and eventually the knock comes.

  You answer it, I say, buttoning a section of middle buttons on my shirt.

  Hen doesn’t reply but turns and walks out of the living room, goes to the front door. She delays, looks back at me, turns, takes a breath, and then she opens the door.

  “Hello,” she says.

  “Hi there. Sorry to disturb you at this hour,” the man replies. “I hope it’s okay. Henrietta, right?”

  She nods and looks down at her feet.

  “My name is Terrance. I’d like to have a word with you. Inside, if possible. Is your husband home?”

  The man’s exaggerated smile hasn’t changed since she opened the door, not at all.

  What’s this about? I ask, stepping out of the living room, into the hall. I’m right behind Hen. I place a hand on her shoulder. She flinches at my touch.

  The man turns his attention to me. I’m taller than he is, wider. And older by a few years. Our eyes meet. He holds his attention on me for several moments, longer than what I deem normal. His smile moves to his eyes as if he’s delighted by what he sees.

  “Junior, right?”

  Sorry, do we know you?

  “You look great.”

  What’s that?

  “This is very exciting.” He looks to Hen. She doesn’t look at him. “I had butterflies in my stomach the whole way over, and it’s not a short drive from the city. It’s thrilling to finally see you like this. I’m here to talk with you, both of you. That’s all,” he says. “Just to talk. I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say.”

  What’s this about? I ask again.

  There’s something unusual about this man’s presence. Hen’s unease is visible. I’m uncomfortable because Hen is uncomfortable. He better start telling us more.

  “I’m here on behalf of OuterMore. Have you heard of us?”

  OuterMore, I say. That’s the organization that’s dealing with—

  “Would it be okay if I came in?”

  I open the door wider. Hen and I step aside. Even if this stranger has malicious intentions, I’ve seen enough to know Terrance is not a threat, not to me. There isn’t much to him. He has an office worker’s body, a delicate frame. He’s a pencil pusher. He’s not a man like me, a laborer, someone used to working with his body. Once inside the front hall, he looks around.

  “Great place,” he says. “Spacious. Rustic, unadorned, in a charming way. Lovely.”

  “Do you want to sit down, in here?” Hen says, leading us to the living room.

  “Thank you,” he replies.

  Hen turns on a lamp and sits in her rocking chair. I sit in my recliner. Terrance sits in the middle of the couch in front of us. He puts his case on the coffee table. His pant legs rise as he sits. He’s wearing white socks.

  Anybody else in the car? I ask.

  “Just me,” he says. “Making these kinds of visits is my job. Took a little longer to get here than I thought it would. You guys are a long way out. That’s why I’m a bit late. Again, my apologies. But it really is great to be here. To see you both.”

  “Yeah, it is quite late,” says Hen. “You’re lucky you caught us before bed.”

  He’s so calm, relaxed, as if he’s been here, sitting on our couch hundreds of times. His excessive composure has the counter effect on me. I try to catch Hen’s eye, but she’s just looking straight ahead and won’t turn her head. I return to the matter at hand.

  What’s this about? I ask.

  “Right, I don’t want to get ahead of myself. As I said, I’m a representative of OuterMore. We’re an organization that formed more than six decades ago. We started in the driverless automobile sector. Our fleet of self-driving cars was the most efficient and safest in the world. Our mandate changed over the years, and today it is very specific. We’ve moved out of the auto sector and into aerospace, exploration, and development. We’re working toward the next phase of transition.”

  The next phase of transition, I repeat. So, like, space? The government sent you here? That’s a government car out there.

  “Yes and no. If you follow the news at all, you might know that OuterMore is a joint assembly. A partnership. We have a branch in government, hence the car, and roots in the private sector. I can show you a brief introductory video about us.”

  He removes a screen from his black case. He holds it up with both hands, facing it toward us. I glance at Hen. She nods, signaling to me that I should watch. A video plays. It seems typical of government-style promotion—overly enthusiastic and forced. Again, I peer at Hen. She appears uninterested. She’s twirling a lock of hair around her index finger.

  The images on the screen move from one to the next quickly, too fast to discern specific details or glean intent. People smiling, people engaged in group activities, laughing together, eating together. Everyone is happy. There are several images of the sky, the launch of a rocket, and rows of barrack-style metal beds.

  When the video ends, Terrance tucks the screen away in his bag. “So,” he says. “As you can see, we’ve been working on this particular project for a long time. Longer than most people realize. There’s still a lot to do, but things are progressing. The technology is quite impressive and advanced. We just received another significant surge of funding. This is happening. I know some of this has been in the media of late, but I can tell you that it goes much deeper than what’s being reported. This is a long time coming.”

  I’m trying
to follow his logic, but I can’t quite piece it together.

  Just to be clear, when you say, “This is happening,” what exactly are you talking about? We don’t follow the news much, do we? I say, looking over at Hen.

  “No,” she says. “Not really.”

  I’m waiting for her to elaborate, to ask a question, to say something, anything, but she doesn’t.

  “I’m talking about the first trip,” he says. “The Installation.”

  The what?

  “The Installation. It’s the first wave of temporary resettlement.”

  Resettlement. Like, away from Earth? In space?

  “That’s correct.”

  I thought that was more hypothetical, like a fantasy, I say. That’s what this is about?

  “It’s very real. And, yes, this is why I’m here.”

  Hen exhales. It’s closer to an audible groan. I can’t tell if it’s uncertainty or annoyance.

  “I’m sorry,” the man says, “but could I trouble one of you for a glass of water? I’m parched from the drive.”

  Hen stands, turns in my general direction, but doesn’t make eye contact. “You want anything?”

  I shake my head. I still have my beer to finish, the one I was drinking before the car arrived, before our night took this unpredictable turn. I pick it up off the table, take a warm mouthful.

  “Well, here we are. This is your house. Very nice. How old is this place?” he asks when Hen’s gone to the kitchen.

  Old, I say. Couple hundred years or so.

  “Amazing! I love that. And you’re happy here? You like it, Junior? You feel comfortable? Just the two of you?”

  What’s he implying? I wonder.

  It’s really all we’ve ever known, I say. Hen and me. We’re happy here, together.

  He tilts his head to the side, smiling again.

  “Well, what a place. What a story. Must be a lot of history in these walls. Must be nice to have so much space and quiet. You could do whatever you want out here. No one would see or hear a thing. There’s no one to bother you. Are there other farms around here?”